SETTING LIMITS

I think a very important thing in a relationship is that you set your limits, that is, that you let your boy/girl know very clear what you will do and what you won´t do. And yes, mostly I am refering to sex, because if you dont have it clear in your head, then you might end up doing things you didn´t want to do in the first place, and that would be so hurting for you and so sad, because I think having serious regrets in the sexual theme is something very serious.
Everyone has their own limits, maybe something that is very important and hard for me, is something you don´t care about,or viceversa. That can also be translated into the sexual theme, because we are all different. But what is clear is that everyone shoul have very clear what his/her limits are. And they are called limits for one reason, that is, not to go further than those limits. Because one thing is totally clear: if you overstep whatever your limits are,you are lost. You will go further and further and someone who lives without limit regrets it later. There have to be things or acts that you forbid to your own self, and therefore know what you have to do and what you shouldn´t do.
Let´s put a non-sexual example first and then a sexual one so that you get what i mean okay?
Imagine you sometimes "steal" some cash from your parents. You look into their belongings and if you find some coins you take them. But if there are no coins, just ticket, you don´t take them. Tickets are your limit. You do take coins, but not tickets. But if one day your mom has no coins and she has maybe eight 5-dollar ticket and you decide to take one because she has a lot and she won´t notice. That moment you are overstepping your limits, and that could be very dangerous. Because now, in terms of stealing money from your father, you have no limit, and you will steal everyday more and more valuable tickets with absolutely no control. You have ignored your limit.
Now a sexual example. This is a very hypothetical situation okay maybe it may sound silly. Imagine you have a new boyfriend and you decide that until you have been dating for 6 months you won´t let him idk touch certain parts of your body, you know, intimate parts of your body. As I said,everyone has their own limits okay, maybe someone would let his boyfriend touch him two weeks after they start dating, or 5 months or one year. But imagine if one night imagine you´re alone at his house and idk you start making out and you lose control of yourself and you let him touch you in places when you had absolutely no intention of it happening. Uh oh, you have overstepped your limit, and now you might start doing all kinds of things that you didn´t plan in first place. And that may lead to you losing yourself. So be careful. One thing I would do was not to put myself in situations where I know I am more likely to do things that overstep my limits, for example, not staying alone in my bf´s house for too long, less at night, less in his bedroom IN HIS BED. But as I said each one of you knows what she should or shouldn´t do, and even more, NEVER DO ANYTHING IF YOU DON´T WANT TO. That´s very important. You can always say NO or STOP okay.
I hope I explained myself correctly :)
xoxo

HOMOSEXUALITY AND CHRISTIANITY

So nowadays a theme that is very present in society is homosexuality. It seems like the society is slowly starting to "accept" gay people, and more and more are coming out.
I am a christian catholic girl and I know that the catholics don´t accept either homosexuality nor homosexual marriage.
And I´m going to try to explain what I think about this.
On the one side, I think God created the man and the woman so that these would come together as one and continue the human specie. So I understand, in some way, why my religion doesn´t accept gay marriage, because that was not what God wanted. But on the other side, God loves all of us, and he loves us just the way that we are. If that is so, and if God created us just like we are, that is, if God created someone gay, why would he reject them later? I understand why God rejects the ones that do gay practices but out of lust and just looking for pleasure, but that in the same way he rejects heterosexual people who just have sex looking for pleasure and all out of lust.
Then, there is this thing that some people say that gay people are sick, and therefore should be cured. I think that´s all shit. If a boy, an innocent, good, kind boy is in love with his best boyfriend, how in the world are you gonna tell him that he´s sick? How would he feel? How would he feel if he was told his love is just a sickness that needs to be cured huh? No man, that´s not the way,not at all.
And what about a christian boy or girl who have been good all their lifes, who pray and have faith and are good and kind, suddenly realize they´re gay? Should they stop going to mass? Should they stop praying? Should they compel themselves to like people of the opposite sex? Should they hide their sexuality? I dont think so, I´m sorry but I don´t think so.
What I think is that God loves us all, he loves us so so much in the same way, it doesn´t matter who you are, how you are or what you do, God still loves you a lot. And if you´re gay, he loves you just as much. So those of you out there who are christians and gay, don´t be scared and never doubt of God´s love towards you, never, ever. Try to be good and do as God tells, be good to others and pray and have faith.
I think it is very brave of gay people to come out and tell the world about it, and I think our response, no matter what religion you believe in, should be acceptance, respect and non-judgement. Because the truth is, we are no one to judge anyone, that´s God job, and if we suddenly discover someone close to us is gay, or we see maybe a gay couple on the street, we should accept it and be respectful.
I also think the biggest proof that gay people are not to be blamed for being gay is that nobody likes it at first, and Im sure that when someone suddenly discovers they´re gay, at that moment they would die to be heterosexual, or they would think it would be easier if they weren´t gay. But they are, and we have to respect it, and before judging someone for it, think about yourselve, if you havent done anything wrong in your life that deserves even worse judgement.
God created us, and he loves us, and he wants all of us to be together in heaven. ALL of us.

RAPE CULTURE

So apparently rape culture is all around internet, especially on tumblr. I am against rape culture, and what amazed me (in a bad way sadly) about it is that even I find myself inside this stupid rape culture. Because sometimes when I´m choosing my clothes to go out, i think "Oh, this skirt is to short, i won´t wear it, I don´t want any guy to do me anything", when really it wouldn´t be entirely my fault if by some reason i got raped, the fault is of the dirty man who rapes, but the society would say something like "she was wearing a very short skirt, she was asking for it", no one can say "that man, although she was wearing a short skirt, is not an animal and therefore is very able to resist any kind of sexual impulse he may have, so it´s his fault"

For those of you who may not know a lot about this, rape culture is "a concept which links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate or even condone rape"

We can see rape culture in the society in different ways: for example, girls who say to have been raped aren´t believed most of the times, girls who are raped are blamed for it because "they were looking for it" maybe for wearing a short skirt, which a girl has total right to do. The thing is that it´s not just about wearing a short skirt, but about having boobs or a good body, is the woman´s fault to have a woman´s body? Is the woman´s fault to have boobs or a vagina? I don´t think so. Men are human beings, not animals, so they´re able to resist their impulses, or at least they should be. I´m not saying sometimes girls dress like whores and that´s not right either, but that is absolutely no excuse for a girl to get raped. 

Another thing that should not be is that girls are normally scared to admit to have been raped, maybe because they think they will not be believed or maybe because the one who has raped her is a close friend or even member of the family. An that´s defintetly not right, this society, in some kind of way, must encourage rape victims to tell somebody, or to go to somebody for help, because I´m pretty sure every single rape victim should get psychological attention, being raped must be a very hard trauma.

So I just wanted to explain a little bit about this without being too boring (sorry if I have)

Here I´ll post a poem I saw on tumblr about raping (It´s not mine)

My rapist doesn´t know he´s a rapist

because my skirt was short

and my "no" was slurred

like I was teasing

I don´t know

Things went dark for a while

My friends don´t know he´s a rapist

because I don´t remember

so maybe, I said "yes"

he´s nice

nice people don´t do "that"

my town doesn´t know he´s a rapist

because I was told to "keep quiet"

so the university can "handle it"

and when they find the rape kit they lost

they´ll test it

but until then, I should move on

My body knows he´s a rapist

because it hurts to stand or sit or walk or talk

and there is a handprint on my thigh

and I don´t remember how it got there

but I remember the next morning

how he bragged about that slut he nailed

and looked and me

and he and his friends laughed

my rapist doesn´t know he´s a rapist

because I´m the only person who tells him he is

and if Im the only one to believe it

is it true?

It´s so sad this poem is so sad.

LOVE OR LUST?

So I found this poem on tumblr and it left me wondering. In case you didn´t get very well what the poem is about, it´s about a girl who loves a boy and is willing to give him what he apparently wants, that is, sex. But as she is into it, she realizes that´s not the way, that he doesn´t love her, he just WANTS HER, wants her to give him pleasure, but not out of love, out of LUST. It is very clear that she doesn´t want to, she says she feels empty and she know that is not the way they should do it. But we can also see she wants him so much, she kind of worships him, so she does as he wants. Its sad, because we can also see the girl loved him, but the boy just lusted over her. At the end, we can see he says "I want you", and something about it feels wrong, at least in my opinion. He says "I want you", istead of "I love you". I´m not judging anyone who falls for a boy who only wants sex at all okay, because if i were in that situation i don´t know what i would do, I hope I would be able to resist, but I can´t be completely sure about it. What I´m trying to say is that you have to think it seriously and be sure before you give yourself to a boy. Because when you do that, you are giving your whole self, every little piece and inch of you, and if that´s not really what you want, then don´t do it, because later you will feel bad and it will be worse. You cant confuse LOVE with LUST, it starts with the same letter, both words have four letters,but thery are so so different from each other. LUST is"uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite" , whereas love is a completely different thing. Be careful okay, don´t be like this girl, that is so blinded by the love she feels towards this guy that isn´t able to say no. I´m not saying you shouldnt have sex or anything, not at all, I´m saying that if you sleep with someone it´s because you want to, sex should not be something you feel dirty or regretful about after you practice it, it should leave you happy and with clean thoughts. And also, I´m not saying every guy who wants to have sex with you is a jerk or a pervert, I´m just saying that you should be able to identify if a guy WANTS you, DESIRES you, or LOVES you, because definetly its not the same thing.